Quote, Unquote

A couple of days ago, I lost the ring an ex-boyfriend gave me. I had worn it for 5 years and it had grown a part of me. Since the time I started wearing it, I couldn’t leave the house without it; I felt naked when it wasn't on my finger. Although my then-boyfriend and I broke up the same year he gave the ring to me, I kept on wearing it and even made a vow to myself that I will not take it off…only the guy who’s worthy of my love shall remove and replace it with another. For five years, it remained on my finger.

2009 (I couldn't find a picture of me wearing the ring in 2008)

I had attempted to throw it away for several times the year past believing my ex put a jinx on it for my ditching him. haha. Unfortunately, I failed every time. So again, I planned to get rid of it in Singapore (Yes, I thought throwing it away in Singapore sounded a bit more dramatic xD). However, my last-ditch effort came to naught. When I met Gus in Singapore, he took it off my finger and gave me a cute, mischievous look. He knew about my pledge so that explained his playful look. I was surprised. I expected he’d take out a ring and put it on my finger (just as he promised when everything between us was OK), but sadly there was no ring. So I took my old one from him and put it back on. A few minutes after, while walking inside the mall, I told him, “You know, I want to throw this (ring) away.” I thought he’d approve but instead he said, “You know, you shouldn’t throw things away. You just got to move on. Just move on”. Then and there, I realized, “This guy is right”. That’s one good thing I love about Gus. He makes me realize things in an instant. So the ring stayed on my finger... for a few more days, that is.

2010. That "V" stands for Villa. :)

When I got back to Virac, it was three or maybe four days before my mind and my body allowed me go out for some sun. In a week, I only go out once, twice or maybe never. That might be hard to believe, but believe me, I’ve turned from a “sociable” into a "standoffish" type of person. But that’s another story. Anyway, the day I went out, it was a few hours after that I noticed I wasn’t wearing my ring. I tried to remember when and where I took it off but I couldn’t. When I got back home, I stared at my finger where my ring once rested and noticeably, the part where it used to be is whiter than the rest of my finger. I didn’t bother looking for the ring in my room or anywhere else inside the house. I just didn’t care anymore.

Thereafter, a realization struck me.... There are things in our life that we keep only because we are used to having them around but truth be told, we don’t really need them anymore. We are only afraid to lose them because we are so used to having them around that we think we don’t know how to live without them.

2011

Sometimes we lose things without meaning to. Same goes with people. Some people we’ve had in our lives for a long time walk away from us or maybe have already walked away but we just couldn’t let go. We think we can’t live without them, but then after a while, the reality of the situation dawns on us and we realize that we just don’t give a sh*t about them anymore and we say, “Hey, I’m OK!”. We think they complete us but as a matter of fact, we are already complete and that they’ve grown only an insubstantial part of us, which for all those years we thought we couldn’t live without. To my ring and all the memories that come with it, it's time to take a dirt nap. :D

2012

I am not sure about what significance losing my ring has in my life. Sometimes it still feels strange looking at my hand without the only piece of jewelry I’d worn for 5 years. Maybe it’s a sign that I finally have to let go of what was and look forward to what will be. However, when I think of the time Gus took it off my finger, I can’t help myself from thinking of what could have been... but this is no time for crying over spilt milk. 

Whatever its significance may be, I look at it as an opportunity to start life afresh…. An opportunity to say, quote, unquote, hey boys, I’m ready for the taking! :D